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Do I need to include a +1 or children at my wedding? 

 

The +1 question

 

Typically we tell clients that if the guest has been with his or her significant other for more than 6 months, then you should invite them.  Anything less than that is entirely up to you and you can decide on a case by case basis but there is no obligation.

 

Something to consider here is if that particular guest knows everyone or not. If they don’t really know anyone else at the wedding, you may want to include a +1 for them.

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Children at a wedding

 

This is a personal question and whether you and your fiancee want to have children. Again, it’s a political question as well.

 

Will anyone be offended if you do not include children?

 

If so, maybe considering including them but see if the venue has a separate area where you can hire a babysitter & have the kids hang out while their parents are enjoying the evening.

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When  do we send out save the dates? Our Invitations?

 

Save the dates:  should be sent out 6 months from your wedding date. We do recommend that if you do have international guests, send those out 8 months out.

 

Something to consider, if you want to use an engagement picture, plan to have that shoot done about 2 months from sending the save the dates out.

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Invitations:

 

There are different theories here but what I like to suggest is the following:

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Order date: 14 weeks before your wedding

Invitations sent: about 9-10 weeks before your wedding

RSVP date: 5-6 weeks before your wedding

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Do we need to have an open bar?  

 

So the answer to this is yes, the bar should be hosted by you or a family member.

 

What you include in the open bar can be optional. You know your guests, if they are big wine drinkers, you could consider a beer and wine bar with maybe a specialty cocktail. If you have a guest list that party until the sun rises then maybe consider a full open bar. But never have a guest pay for a drink at your wedding. Big NO NO!

 

Do we have to incorporate all the traditional formalities at our wedding? 

 

Nope – you don’t you honestly do not have to do any of them if you don’t want to.

 

This is an area where you can truly say it’s our wedding. There are no set rules anymore so you are really free to do what you like.

 

Keep in mind though that some of the “traditionalists” may want to see you cut that cake, so it may be worth doing some of those traditions to make someone happy.

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Do we have to do a first look? 

 

You don’t, but the benefit of doing one are that you get all the “formal” photos done before the ceremony so that once you are married, you can get back and enjoy!

 

The other benefit to a first look, depending on the time of year, is that you will be able to get all the shots you like while there is still good light for your photographer.

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Do we have to do a rehearsal?  

 

You do not have to do a rehearsal, most people do know the basic set-up of a wedding ceremony.

 

The benefit of having one is the ability to run through any questions you or your party may have. It’s also a good time to introduce your planner to your party so they know who to ask for on the day of the wedding.

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Should you include dress code on the invitations? 

Traditionally, we only see a dress code on the invitation if you are requiring black-tie or black tie optional.

If it’s anything else, you can usually list this on your wedding website.

 

Bear in mind that not all guests will visit your website so if you really want to see your guests dressed a certain way, include in on your details card.

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Should we create an A & B list? 

The official answer NO! No one wants to think they are on the “B” list so we don’t really discuss this too much out loud.

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Unofficially, yes, we all know there are those guests you will have to invite (family you haven’t seen in 20 years)  and by doing that, maybe some of the people you want to invite get knock off the list.

 

By having an unofficial “B” list, you can still get those you want to invite in there, because let’s face it those family members you haven’t seen in 20 years probably will not make it.

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Should I fire a bridesmaid or groomsman? 

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Oh hell, ya! (whoops did I say that out loud)

 

The answer is unequivocally, YES!!! 

 

If a certain member of your wedding party is not meeting your expectations it is OK to let them know.

 

Now, I am not saying you are given permission to run around saying “Off with their head” when things don’t go your way but sometimes during the process, you will realize that one of the people you chose may not be the best fit.

 

Just remember there was a reason you guys were friends before your wedding, you should try to be friends after this, even if you do have to ask them to step down.

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